So I wanted to recall a conversation I had with a friend the other night about how I was feeling much discomfort about putting my online course out there for all the world to experience and he said something profound that stuck with me…
“I think most people are more afraid of success than they are of failure”.
Whoa, could this be true about me?
I thought about it for a long time and although I didn’t want it to be true, I realized there was a kernel of truth to it. Not just for me, but for so many people I know, including some of my incredible clients. Our fears can sometimes paralyze us from moving forward. In most cases it is tied to limiting beliefs about what we deserve, what we can accomplish, and what we think others will say.
For so many, including me, there is certainty in knowing how to maneuver our current life. We think, “I could do this for the rest of my life!”. And in the beginning we believe it. It feels easy and comfortable.
You believe if you just stay where you are, knowing what to expect, that somehow there will be no challenges and you will be happy. But as human beings we are constantly evolving and growing and challenges inevitably come no matter where we are. The greater drive is the desire to fulfill our God-given potential. It wants to be actualized whether we realize it or not.
So after a while I get restless and I want change. Not because I’m not happy, but because I am truly not fulfilling my God-given potential. I must birth all the creative dreams that God has poured into me. Take a look at the much debated Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs below. Once our basic and psychological needs have been met we all want to achieve our full potential.
If you are like me, you will realize that you cannot put off birthing what is within you because you’re afraid of what it will bring. I heard this once and it stuck with me…
“You must eat fear until it tastes good.”
Meaning just keep doing what scares the pants off of you, until it doesn’t scare you any more. Just wait there will be a new fear waiting in the wings.
You will never feel completely confident or secure, none of us will, and you shouldn’t. All the greats are gripped by fears, just before doing something transforming.
But I also know that no one is like me, no one has my gifts, talents, ideas, or dreams. I am an original. A masterpiece. And what I have, must be birth by me.
So I asked myself several questions that I know were rooted in my fear. I posted my answers here so you can see how I answered them, it may help you if you can relate to how I was feeling.
- How will my life change if I achieve great financial success with what I am doing? I will have more income to care for my family, give to causes I care about and contribute more the world. But also travel more, buy a beach house when I want down time, access to a better retirement…on and on. But it may also mean that I lose relationships because of how my life changes. You can’t take everyone where you are going, no matter how much you wish you could. Don’t let your fear of leaving some relationships behind, stop you from moving forward. You never know, it may propel them to move too.
- Does it feel uncomfortable to want more, even though I have a great life now? Yes it does. It feels like I should just be content with where I am. I love my life, I truly do! But if I am being honest I want everything I wrote above and more. I want an abundant life in all areas. It feels more authentic to be honest with what I truly want because I know I will put action to achieve it. This is where I have to do some work to get clear on where this limiting mindset comes from.
- Does it somehow make me greedy or less Christian? No it doesn’t because I know I am not greedy. I am a constant giver. Wanting abundance in all its forms has the power not just to transform my life, but the lives of everyone I touch. I’m not looking for a handout, I am willing to work hard for the success I seek and I’m clear on my motivation.
- Will it change me? How could it not? Change is good, and inevitable. The key is to be mindful of my Why always and stay aligned and connected to my purpose. I will use my platform, always to serve and to make a difference. My vision is about helping others to be free to define their own worth and success, on their own terms.
- What does success look like to me? I want a global brand where I help women all over the world. I want to be able to impact people in my zip code and in zip codes worlds away.
- Will I be less accessible to the people I want to help? Maybe initially, but if I put good systems in place, I should be more accessible to the people I seek to help. It means my circle of influence will be bigger. I can influence the things I care most about. I will help more people, not less.
- Will I get talked about online? With a certainty. But as Brene Brown says, If they are not in the arena getting marred with dust and dirt, daring greatly, then I don’t have to even listen to them. Meaning anyone that is not also putting themselves out here and courageously building a business, then they have no room to criticize your journey. I know it will not be easy but it does come with the territory.
- Will I lose my anonymity? Yes of course you will, to some degree. The more success you have, the less anonymous you are. More people will know you. The key is to use your platform to make a difference. Find some great mentors or examples who can help me as I enter this new phase in my life to stay humble and grounded.
- What about the tax implications? With my increased income, more taxes are a certainty. Better just make sure I manage the new tax implications by having good systems and staying in touch with my accountant or financial planner and get prepared.
This week I want you to truly search your heart. Answer these questions for yourself. Are you allowing limiting beliefs or fear to keep you from moving forward and achieving the success you truly desire?
Regina Brett said it best,“Fear and excitement are best friends. Stay in good company.”
I always want to be in good company, don’t you?
I would love to know what you thought of this post. Post a comment below and let me know if you too are a little afraid of how success will change your life.
To your dream building success,